Speed Ahead to Your Full Potential
Yuri Elkaim, BPHE, CK
 Imagine driving down the highway with the handbrake on. Although you can force the car, it will be difficult to gain momentum, and when you do get going, it will be slow and laborious. Too much energy will be spent going nowhere fast.
Driving with the brake on is analogous to the way we often think. We may have the intent to move towards our goals, but if, at the same time, we are constantly having thoughts that oppose those dreams, we will never achieve them.
If you dream of being a pianist or an athlete, but are constantly telling yourself that you are not good enough, it’s not likely that you will ever achieve your dream. How can you know if you are thwarting yourself?
Stop for a moment and observe your thoughts. Nothing? Recall something upsetting. What about the grumbling you just shared with a co-worker? How about the curses you just hurled at the driver ahead of you in traffic? Can you hear the swarm of buzzing negative thoughts? That is the sound of resistance.
Resistance to what is going on around you is the friction that hinders forward motion in your life. These negative thoughts will take the spring out of your step, make your goals harder to achieve and your life a limited experience.
When we were children, complaining was very effective. “I’m hungry,” produced food; “I’m sad,” produced a hug. As adults complaining rarely gets us what we want. It is counterproductive and actually tends to attract what we don’t want to come more powerfully into our life.
“You are in charge of your own life,” is one of the key insights that anyone can implement into their mindset. If that is true, what do you need to do to if you want to tear down the highway to your ultimate success and joy? Quite simply: release the handbrake.
Easier said than done, and that’s why I ’ve outlined three steps that, when applied, can keep you moving forward in the direction you wish in life:
- Observe
- Say yes
- Give thanks
Observe!
The act of observing our thoughts and speech brings attention to these automatic processes, which in itself starts an evolution of changes in attitude and behavior.
Try not complaining for seven days. Try it and you will soon see how habitual negativity can be.
Say Yes!
Your thoughts and words are energetic messages that are continually affecting your mind and body. When you say yes to your goals and to your possibilities, then you are releasing the brakes that stop you from being the best you can be.
Dr. Stephen M. Drigotas of Johns Hopkins University developed a theory he calls The Michelangelo Phenomenonbased on a quote by the Italian renaissance sculptor Michelangelo. The artist said that he didn’t so much carve a beautiful sculpture out of marble as he chiseled until the masterpiece within the stone revealed itself.
When you say yes to your admirable qualities, your strengths and talents you affirm what is waiting to emerge allowing what no longer serves you to drop away.
Give thanks
In the documentary film, The Secret, there’s a wonderful story of a man who carried a pebble in his pocket. Every time he touched it, it reminded him to be grateful for what was in his life. He called this his gratitude rock.
Find a talisman that reminds you of how grateful you are to have the opportunity to pursue your higher goals and desires. In the distance, you can clearly see your dreams. Once you release the brakes of fear, doubt and negativity that have held you back, you can surge forward unfettered towards your full potential.
Fear of Failure vs. Fear of Success
Yuri Elkaim, BPHE, CK
 Very often people do not achieve their goals as a result of being debilitated by the fear of failing. They are scared of taking risks or scared of putting themselves on the line by committing to a worthy goal because just maybe they will let themselves, and others, down if they don’t achieve it.
However, one form of pressure that is rarely spoken about that I believe is one of the most counter intuitive and difficult to come to grips with, and that affects many of the most gifted individuals is not the fear of failure, but the fear of success. These people often are very high achievers that end up being very successful up to a point, but fall short or even stop competing. Success to them brings discomfort, pain, and becomes simply not worth it. People around them usually say what a pity because that person seemed to have it all. How do you address the fear of success and why do these individuals not enjoy success or desire more?”
Although fear of success is much rarer, it can sometimes be mistaken as a fear of failure.
What is the difference between fear of failure and fear of success?
Fear of failure is much more common than fear of success. Fear of failure is a mindset that causes individuals to perform tentatively or defensively. It is the fear of working hard and not attaining that which you desire.
Fear of failure causes individuals to focus on the negatives, such as not to make mistakes, not to disappoint a coach, friend, co-worker, parent, etc…, or not to feel embarrassed. The interesting part about the fear of failure is that it is sprouts from an intense desire to win, achieve, or perform well. The greater the emotional energy individuals put into a particular endeavour (eg. Sport, work, etc…), the greater the potential for fear of failure to set in.
Fear of failure is characterized by high expectations, a strong desire to success (and not fail), anxiety or tension, worrying too much about results or outcomes, social approval issues or worrying to much about what others think, and performing with a serious, controlled mindset.
Overall, the fear of failure prevents you from taking risks and being truly free and successful. No matter what your endeavour; be it sport, business, work, or other, being able to take risks is essential because the person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing. Sorry if these harsh but it’s the truth.
A great example of someone who takes risks despite drastic consequences in the event of failure is Richard Branson, the founder of Virgin. Apart from being a fearless entrepreneur, he also leads his life to the fullest, engaging in wild activities such as hot air ballooning across the Atlantic and skydiving, just to name a few.
During his famous hot air balloon trip across the Atlantic Oceanseveral years back, Branson found himself, during several occasions, at a crossroad where a decision had to be made on whether or not to continue his journey. His uncompromising determination and fearlessness brought forth his resourcefulness and creativity when faced with life threatening problems allowing him to continue his journey to its fullest. Eventually, his balloon crash landed in the Atlanticnot too far from his destination and thankfully he was ok.
The moral of the story is that even though he didn’t achieve what he had fully set out to do (due to crashing) he didn’t allow the possibility of failing to enter his mind. Sure he had his doubts now and then but he knew that because he committed to achieving this goal, it would be done. After all, it’s all about the journey…not the goal!
Fear of Success
On the other hand, individuals who stifle their performance with fear of success are mostly concerned with the “problems” that come with success. Have you heard the saying, “it’s lonely at the top?” Case in point: Tiger Woods. Yes, he is the best golfer on the planet and makes boatloads of money, but can you imagine what precautions Tiger has to take just to go out to dinner in public? An individual who displays fear of success engages in self-sabotage so they will not have to cope with these issues that come with success.
The consequences of self-sabotage are lack of motivation, making mental errors, blowing a big lead in an event, or giving up altogether. This leads to a snowball effect in which the individual may lose confidence and focus.
Fear of success is the fear of the problems associated with being successful, recognized, and honored. For example, one of the specific fears athletes maintain is that other people will have greater expectations for their performance. Another common fear is that they will lose friends and make enemies if they are too successful. Often it is hard for individuals to enjoy success because they feel “burdened” by achievement in many ways including how they may have to change their lives.
Fear of success is characterized by a lack of desire to achieve personal goals, self-sabotaging behavior such as not showing up for practice, exercise sessions, important meetings, and feeling guilty or undeserving when achieving success. Fear of success, like fear of failure also can be rooted in an over concern for what others think. For example, individuals with fear of success worry about what friends may feel about them (envy, jealousy, hatred) when they reach to the top of their sport, business, or corporate ladder, and worry if friendships will be in jeopardy.
So, how does one cope with fear of success?
The first step is to identify the root cause of the fear. Are you afraid of higher expectations? Are you afraid of not feeling satisfied? Are you afraid of making enemies and losing friends at the top?
Ask yourself this question: “What is the worse thing that could happen to me if I am successful?”
Once you identify the root of the fear underlying the fear of success, now you can approach it head on and work through it. It’s also helpful to understand the type of self-sabotage an individual might engage – lack of motivation, lack of commitment, making excuses, giving up the moment success is close, or self-destructive thought patterns.
Ask the question: “In what ways do I self-destruct my own performance and success?”
Like fear of failure, fear of success often boils down to developing healthier beliefs about yourself (and the endeavour in which you’re striving for success) by refuting, rebutting, or changing the beliefs that underlie the fears associated with fear of failure.
Be confident in yourself and go for it! You deserve to achieve anything you want in life even if you don’t think so.
The Power of a Decision
Yuri Elkaim, BPHE, CK
 Most of us have taken a psychology course in university or read a self-help book at some point or another. These platforms allow us to understand more about ourselves and about the human psyche, in general. One area often alluded to, especially in the field of personal development, is that of the importance of decisions.
A decision usually stems from knowing something or knowing that something must be done. However, most people have the knowledge of what to do BUT don’t do it. Why? Is it because we associate too much pain and discomfort to the task at hand? Most likely! Knowing is not good enough…you must take action. That is the only way to achieve anything in life.
For instance, we all know that it is imperative to get daily exercise of some sort, yet why is it that many people opt for the escalator instead of the stairs or why do they fall out of a workout regime? Since most of us know the importance of daily exercise we must begin to implement our knowledge. Truly great things in life are not achieved by doing things once in a while, but rather through consistent action. By making the decision to take consistent action starting NOW you will begin to form the proper habits that will lead you to whatever goals you set for yourself.
”People form habits and habits form futures.”
Make the decision today to start creating good habits whether they consist of going for a daily walk or workout, preparing homemade meals, or spending quality time with loved ones. The benefits will be tremendous and long lasting!
The following Ultimate Success Formula, courtesy of Anthony Robbins, is a good place to start:
- Decide what you want
- Take action to achieve it>
- Notice what’s working or not
- Change your approach until you find what works
These articles were provided courtesy of Yuri Elkaim and total wellness consulting. Yuri is a former professional soccer player, registered holistic nutritionist, kinesiologist, top notch fitness trainer, and considered as Canada’s leading authority on fitness, wellness, and living food nutrition. He his the author Eating for Energy and creator of the groundbreaking Fitter U™ and Treadmill Trainer™ MP3/iPod workout programs.
For more information on how Yuri’s fitness and nutrition programs can help you get in great shape and lose weight naturally and easily while creating tremendous health click here NOW and find out how to get started today. Web address http://www.cartville.com/app/?af=753157
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